The Lord is the Rock eternal

Cyle, Robby, Megan and I were talking in the hot tub. I explained I want to be here, I like it, I love them, it makes sense financially, but if I truly believe God controls everything, then I'll trust that Savannah's text wasn't a coincidence or a fluke. It's just that everyone here wants me to stay and they are skeptical and I'm open to their opinions. But even Gideon was a n00b in that he laid the fleece out twice. So I trust God but also listen to other believers...who are biased. (many details I'll just avoid. It got kind of painful.) Ok. Cyle said, "So you're just messing with people's feelings." By continually giving up what I want/where I want to be. Megan is just blatantly against it, thinks I'm making a mistake & rebeliously made a (ten year style) plan for her life. Ridiculous. Leaving no room for God, much less his authority. Robby and Jessica are great. I see the saddness in Robby's eyes, but he'd never intentionally hurt me. Jessica is also against it (ok that statement just applies to everyone) and said not to think that only I've been changed/impacted by my time here. She said their group has seen so many changes for the better.
This morning at church Meg, Trever and I spoke to the congregation about Bridgetown. I focussed on the fact that God isn't only in Portland. Then during worship, before 3rd service (right before we were going up to talk again) the Spirit was doing a work in me & I was tearing up.....

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees,
and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift,
undeserved lifeHave I been given
Through Christ crucified

Wow, that is so true. I feel so undeserving of this life (in Idaho) that I was given because I crucified my desires with Christ. I went up there and spoke straight from the heart, on the verge of tears. Then after we spoke I went to my car and just cried out to God until service was over. Haha God really has obliterated my comfort zones. He enables me to do what I cannot do alone. One very godly man come up to me afterward and say, "No matter where you are: sitting on the sofa, at the school, standing on stage...whenever I'm around you, you just put me at ease." Wow. God is so beautiful.

Tonight I sort of started crying as it was just me and Trever and I was telling him I thought I overheard Cyle telling Robby & Megan it was like dating someone for two months and then breaking up, then they go back to what they had before something something.. Wow. Trever said he heard if we do lay the fleece it should be something undenyable like maybe a letter from the president or something so that we can be 100% sure. I said but if I honestly believe nothing goes by God unnoticed...then I am 100% sure. He is actually great. He just listened and then he said would you like to get your Bible and some lotion? Then he proceeded to rub my feet and hands as I read the word. I asked him what he's looking forward to most for the rest of this year. He said this year is basically preparing for Australia, unless God throws him a curve ball. So true. I pray that God matures him spiritually there.

Last night Lisa, Trever's mom, teared up as I shared my heart with her about it all. She said they all would like me to stay, but I know she is behind me. She said they'd love to stay in contact, and hear how God continues to use me.

...And that is the extent of everyone's emotions flaring about me leaving & doing my best to follow God's leading