ducks in a row?

must my ducks be in a row? now? right now i am in the midst of a treacherous transition. shayla, aaron, & ashton will be bunking up with us for a while, so i've been moving all of my belongings to the guest room this weekend so they can have my fabulous master bedroom/bath suite. tonight is my first night in the new setup. it's not as bad as i make it sound, minus my mom's omnipresent waverly print floral wallpaper. it's smaller, i like the quaintness. alright here's the main hit: it's a queen size bed. :) and now the room is filled with all my gear (snowboard, snare, lava lamp, the works), so it's pretty homey.

but let me tell you, going through all my stuff was hard, emotionally. i threw away about half of my possessions. i guess i had the mindset of: i am going away to college, so there's no room for this... i don't know. i'm finding this whole process kind of difficult. i don't want to leave everything i've ever known. but i know i need to. it's scary that i will be going to college very soon, i will have a new home, and i don't know where it is yet. it's so incredibly hard to be under the pressure to get those miserable ducks in a row! major? scholorships? which college? job? a.c.t.? applications? references? the list goes on. growing is hard, i tell you. honestly, i wish i was in 7th grade, hanging out, playing the drums with mrs. barkley at cp. haha, man life is so crazy.

the other day my mom told me to pray about sugar....our dog, sugar. she's fed up with her basically. sugar's 14 and my parents want to put her to sleep. my mom asked me for my permission. we got sugar when i was 3. i said, "can we get the one with the little feet?" they complied, and i named her after brown sugar. i loved that dog like she was my sister, my child, my pet. she was so much more than a dog. that night i cried myself to sleep 'praying about sugar.' she used to be so alive, so healthy, so thriving, so beautiful. the way she bounded down the hall to get her 'squeaky,' how she lay sprawled out in the sun, she kept me warm at night. then, then...she got moved to the basement. and she has been there for about a month. she's skinny, and deaf. she is my dog. she still has a appetite, a very good one. i can't say goodbye. i can't hold her in my arms, look at her and say goodbye, knowing that i will never see her again.

life is changing. it is drastic, complicated, and intense. pray for me. i need the strength and wisdom that only God can give.