icky love stuff

Jessica and I spent a solid hour trapsing around downtown Coeur D'Alene scavenging for chocolate. I got to the youth house for the weekly Friday night Truth Project meeting & Jess shows up a few minutes later talking hype about a chocolate walk going on downtown until 8. So we leave assuring everyone we'd be right back. We basically ditched the truth project & got back at the very end of the video, before discussion time. It was awkward. Because if I were a hired intern at the church...I probably shouldn't have done that. But I'm not, and I got to know Jessica a lot better. She's mellowed out a bunch. This pleases me. I mean she's Jessica. But she even vocalized how she realized she'd probably overwhelmed me by all her questions etc.. During the chocolate walk (which was hilarious. the businesses would hide it in the back of the store and 1/2 of the time they'd be out anyway...and other customers would whisper with a clearly unamused undertone, "there's no chocolate." haha)

Soohoho...After all was done at the youth house...I've blocked it out apparently b/c I felt guilty. We headed to the Kuetemeyer's (Trever's) for a party of sorts. Nertz was involved...I've never played with that many people. Intense. (OH my gosh that reminds me! I told Joan, this old lady I washed/dried dishes with at the church Valentine dinner tonight, the circus fire joke...and we became best friends afterward.) So at the Kuetemeyer's, I had a fabulous conversation with Lisa, Trever's mom. She's so great. I told her where I'm really at...like really. My struggles and everything. Then Robby talked with us. He was upset that the guys Bible study is growing, and he needs intimate fellowship. So I told him I felt terrible because it was my fault, b/c this Sunday the bulletin insert I made announcing it is going to come out. Robby assurred me that the other guys didn't seem to have a problem with it, and he didn't want me to feel bad at all. Then me, Lisa, Dan (Trever's dad) and Robby went into the kitchen & sat on the hard floor and held hands and prayed. Oh God is so good.

Then Megan and Jessica found us in the kitchen and joined our "koom by ah" circle as they called it. I explained the reason for all the tension going on to the Kuetemeyer's. "Their small group had started the Truth Project before the youth pastor came along and now it's become the young adult group...and it's growing and it's weird." Megan was like, "It's not a bad weird." Weird is weird though...right? Basically the intimacy of their original '07 graduating class small group has disappeared and they're frustrated. I told them I felt terrible and responsible. They had been referring to the original people as the 'group' and the n00bies as the 'sub-group.' And they were like, "No, Staci...we love you...we actually like the sub-group more than the group... hah" ANYWAY. There is plently of room for prayer there & I appreciated Lisa's recognition of that fact.

After a blink of sleep (solid 8 hours) I met the girls at Kootenai coffee for our first girls' Bible study. Again..God is good. I was just real with them...made it clear I don't have all the answers and they were real with me in return. It's ridiculous. We are all in this position of wanting to do more...not feeling like the college plan is all there is for us...but not knowing what the other path is. So I told them the goal I have in mind for our meeting times is to discover and come up with what "that jump" (of faith as we'd started calling it) would look like. Everyone here admits that they've been feeling this restlessness...but never do anything about it. UGGHH. This drives me crazy. Captives sitting in prison who won't GET UP and walk out. They admit they are too afraid. Wow. God just work here.

Then Megan came over and we hung out until it was time to waitress at the Valentine Sweetheart dinner. OH golly gee willakers. What a trip. We were all dressed up in black and white. Serving was fun. Really really fast paced (I was serving 3 tables of 6). I want to be a waitress. Someday. No one is currently hiring. haha. Except...One coffee maker broke and this lady was upset she didn't have her cupfull yet. I politely explained and her husband told me, "Starbucks is down the street," insinuating that I should take care of his wife's predicament and in a timely fashon. Wow. Gram and Papa were on stage a lot...reading poetry and such (Shayla she mentioned that this weekend is y'all's anniversary...well she said, "Our grandaughter, Staci, I mean Shayla...") Wow. There were a hundred people there. Good crowd. Papa asked Gram if she had plans later tonight in front of everyone...ehhh. Megan said I could sleep at her place. hahaha.

So. Then after miraculously cleaning up eeeeeeverything...we watched a movie in the youth house. I texted Trever and he came after work. He doesn't take advantage of opportunities. And then when I leave he acts disappointed and surprised. But at my car he gave me a hug and texted me, "goodnight" momentarily after saying goodbye. ehhh.

I want a hug. That never ends. God is good.